Monday, January 21, 2013

Raine’s Psychological Profile: Not Dangerous to Self or Others

When you grow up with a billboard on your back that says “I’m different”, creatures of all types get a kick out of making you miserable. At first, when you’re young and vulnerable and new to the game of bullying and intolerance, you don’t have much of a choice, except to duck and cover your wounds and tolerate these misery-seekers. Later, with a few years and sore spots under your belly, you develop the Big D attitude. That is, you get very defensive. The vulnerable underbelly is still there but covered up by a crusty outer layer of toughness. A necessary evil for dealing with the mean ones of the world. 
Every wounded creature chooses a slightly different strategy for emotional and physical protection. Some learn to be brainiacs and try to outsmart everyone else. Others get bigger and stronger than the neighborhood bullies so no one with f*** with them ever again. Many make the big bucks so they can always buy their way out of trouble.
I chose to, well, let me just show you what the School Psychologist wrote about me. 
Raine is a vulnerable animal that has developed a defensive, cynical attitude to protect her considerable wounds. This creative, intelligent creature has been at the precipice of a nervous breakdown and unconsciously chooses to be persistently vigilant to avert emotional threats from her environment. Prone to use humor to deflect uncomfortable feelings. Edgy, with a sarcastic wit. Should be considered fragile, but not dangerous to self or others. (I love that part.) Needs considerable therapeutic help, when she is ready. 
In layman’s terms, I’d rather be edgy, defensive and cynical than go completely bonkers. And just in case you’re wondering, I wasn’t quite ready for that shrink job. 
Yea, at first that Big D attitude was directed at my parents for the nerve of getting together in the first place: What the heck were they thinking? Didn’t they know what all three of us would be up against? But it was hard to stay mad at them since I wouldn’t exactly be here if they hadn’t made that impulsive decision. And anyway, didn’t they have the right – regardless of their interspecies diversity – to do whatever in the heck they wanted to. Lest we forget, the last time I checked, this was a free country made of a vast diversity of creatures from all over the world. That ‘huddled masses’ stuff, if you know what I mean.
So you see, my attitude is all over the place: at various times hostile, angry, serene and accepting. It just goes with the territory of growing up with unique challenges. More about that later. The School Psychologist quote was taken from Dr. P’s latest free e book, Prejudice and the Progeny. Check it out at

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