In my stress seminars, I would always pose this challenge: If you were the midst of a tense, stressed and angry crowd and had a mere fifteen minutes to get control over them, what would you do? People said things like hose them down with water, force them to chase you until they got tired, and some said simply” beg for mercy”. All reasonable good options of course, but being a stress doc, my answer was: Teach them how to relax. It’s the best way to quickly reduce tension, stress and anger.
I’ve studied and used relaxation techniques for decades and have finally discovered one that is scientifically sound and, most importantly, a method that people will actually use. There are many great relaxation methods like meditation, yoga and tai chi, and believe me, I’ve taught all of them. But none of them work unless you practice. So I searched for a technique was valid, effective and fast. And the winner is…diaphragmatic breathing or gut breathing, as I call it.
VALIDITY. There are numerous studies that support the validity of gut breathing. I won’t bore you with them here. If you are interested, write to me via my website (included below) and I will send you the references.
EFFECTIVE. It slows breathing, heart rate, reduces muscle tension, quiets the mind, etc. Every healthy response you want in a relaxation technique.
FAST: Gut breathing takes fifteen minutes or less to learn, and you can practice it in multiple one minute sessions throughout the day.
Now really! Is that too much to ask for better mental health, less tension, stress and anger, and even better relationships. I practice gut breathing everyday myself, and can vouch for its benefits.
Here is a simple way to learn the technique which is taken from my latest stress book, NOW WE KNOW WHY IT’S CALLED A PUNCH LIST: How to Cope When Your Beloved Home Is Invaded by a Gang of Tool-Wielding, Tattooed, Organized-Challenged Contractors and Subs (www.stresscomedy.com).
Step 1. In a sitting or standing position, place one hand on your chest and another on your gut. Take a deep breath - through your gut - so that your hand rises slowly as you breathe in. Your chest should move only slightly or not at all. Breathe in very slowly until your lungs are full of air. Hold your breath for just a moment.
Step 2. Release your breath ever so slowly, resisting the temptation to let it go all at once. You have now completed one breath cycle.
Step 3. Repeat this pattern of breathing several times until you get accustomed to this “gut breathing” and find that your chest barely moves as you breathe in air. When you feel that you have learned the “gut breathing” method, you can bring you hands back to your sides, and begin practicing in a more normal position.
Studies have shown that people under stress engage in shallow, chest-oriented breathing. Interestingly enough, this form of hyperventilation is particularly evident when you are sitting at your computer. Check yourself out. Are your breaths short and coming from your chest? Yep…got you!
Try the three steps right now and notice the quick changes in breathing, overall tension level and feelings of well-being. Gut breathing is truly one of the best things you can do for your “self”. Of course, the best training results are obtained by doing a fifteen minute practice session each day followed by one minute sessions as you need them; that is, when you catch yourself breathing incorrectly.
Until the next time, may your habits be calming and health-enhancing.
Showing posts with label doctor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doctor. Show all posts
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Saturday, November 7, 2009
ANGER AND RAGE IN THE NEWS: COULD STRESS BE A FACTOR
The following incidents were recently reported in the news:
…A trained healer, a Physician, punches a woman in a road rage incident.
…A coach who helps manage rage on the football field assaults his assistant.
…A guy spanks a child (not his own) who disturbs him in a supermarket.
What could these - and hundreds of others incidents of anger and rage - have in common? My work in anger management suggests that stress could be a significant factor in these acts of aggression.
Stress is pervasive these days and exerts its influence on how we act and feel. And it has an especially powerful effect on the expression of potentially dangerous emotions like anger and rage. Let me show you how stress, anger and rage are connected, and how Stress and Anger Management (SAM) can help people change.
First, think of your stress potential as ten small blocks that tend to pile up in your brain and body. Your stress potential builds as soon as you experience a stressor in your daily life. If one, two or three blocks build up in your day, you’re relaxed and in pretty good shape (emotionally speaking). Five blocks represent the midpoint on this stress scale. It is the threshold point. Once you pass five, you cross into the danger zone. The closer you get to ten blocks of stress, the more apt you are to blow your top.
Okay, let’s start your day. A poor night’s sleep earns you two blocks of stress. Traffic bumps you up to four. Your bosses’ insensitivity pushes you over the threshold (five +) and into the danger zone. This stressed state primes you for emotional reactivity. You are ready to fight or flee at the slightest provocation, and you’re not even home yet. If the atmosphere at home is perfectly calm, you can subtract a couple of stress blocks, relax and enjoy your family. However, a tense home environment adds insult to injury. There’s a good chance that the minor hassles of family life will trigger irritation, hostility or full-blown anger.
Many of us race through life with chronic stress; that is, we carry between five and ten blocks of stress throughout our nervous systems on a perennial basis. I can’t be sure about the three cases mentioned above, but my suspicion is this: They were at eight, nine or even ten blocks on the stress scale. Powder kegs ready to explode.
The first step of my SAM program is to watch/monitor your stress blocks on a daily basis. You must become a good stress watcher. That means checking your stress levels three to four times per day. Stress watchers ask themselves the following questions on a regular basis: “How’s my breathing? Is it rapid or slow?” “What about muscle tension? Do I feel braced or relaxed?” And what about my mental state? Am I worried and overwhelmed by rapid-fire thoughts or am I thinking calmly and clearly?
In sum, your stress scale can build rapidly unless you learn to recognize the escalation and manage the stress before it reaches the danger zone. Through stress watching, you can begin to become keenly aware of your propensity to anger and rage. It encourages self statements such as: “I am getting awfully close to five, my danger zone, so I’d better back off, take a deep breath and deal with this situation when I’m calmer.” That slight pause prodded by self awareness is a powerful stress and anger management technique. Try it and see for yourself.
To read more about the management of stress and anger, take a look at my latest book: NOW WE KNOW WHY IT’S CALLED A PUNCH LIST: How to Cope When Your Beloved Home is Invaded by a Gang of Tool-Wielding, Tattooed, Organized-Challenged Contractors and Subs at www.stresscomedy.com.
Future blogs will outline the other steps in my SAM program. And remember, you may discover – through your stress watching - that your anger and rage is already chronic and potentially dangerous. Please reach out for professional help. Like the three incidents mentioned at the start of this blog, there are times when stress has passed the point of self help and an expert’s advice.
As always, may your habits be calming and health-enhancing.
…A trained healer, a Physician, punches a woman in a road rage incident.
…A coach who helps manage rage on the football field assaults his assistant.
…A guy spanks a child (not his own) who disturbs him in a supermarket.
What could these - and hundreds of others incidents of anger and rage - have in common? My work in anger management suggests that stress could be a significant factor in these acts of aggression.
Stress is pervasive these days and exerts its influence on how we act and feel. And it has an especially powerful effect on the expression of potentially dangerous emotions like anger and rage. Let me show you how stress, anger and rage are connected, and how Stress and Anger Management (SAM) can help people change.
First, think of your stress potential as ten small blocks that tend to pile up in your brain and body. Your stress potential builds as soon as you experience a stressor in your daily life. If one, two or three blocks build up in your day, you’re relaxed and in pretty good shape (emotionally speaking). Five blocks represent the midpoint on this stress scale. It is the threshold point. Once you pass five, you cross into the danger zone. The closer you get to ten blocks of stress, the more apt you are to blow your top.
Okay, let’s start your day. A poor night’s sleep earns you two blocks of stress. Traffic bumps you up to four. Your bosses’ insensitivity pushes you over the threshold (five +) and into the danger zone. This stressed state primes you for emotional reactivity. You are ready to fight or flee at the slightest provocation, and you’re not even home yet. If the atmosphere at home is perfectly calm, you can subtract a couple of stress blocks, relax and enjoy your family. However, a tense home environment adds insult to injury. There’s a good chance that the minor hassles of family life will trigger irritation, hostility or full-blown anger.
Many of us race through life with chronic stress; that is, we carry between five and ten blocks of stress throughout our nervous systems on a perennial basis. I can’t be sure about the three cases mentioned above, but my suspicion is this: They were at eight, nine or even ten blocks on the stress scale. Powder kegs ready to explode.
The first step of my SAM program is to watch/monitor your stress blocks on a daily basis. You must become a good stress watcher. That means checking your stress levels three to four times per day. Stress watchers ask themselves the following questions on a regular basis: “How’s my breathing? Is it rapid or slow?” “What about muscle tension? Do I feel braced or relaxed?” And what about my mental state? Am I worried and overwhelmed by rapid-fire thoughts or am I thinking calmly and clearly?
In sum, your stress scale can build rapidly unless you learn to recognize the escalation and manage the stress before it reaches the danger zone. Through stress watching, you can begin to become keenly aware of your propensity to anger and rage. It encourages self statements such as: “I am getting awfully close to five, my danger zone, so I’d better back off, take a deep breath and deal with this situation when I’m calmer.” That slight pause prodded by self awareness is a powerful stress and anger management technique. Try it and see for yourself.
To read more about the management of stress and anger, take a look at my latest book: NOW WE KNOW WHY IT’S CALLED A PUNCH LIST: How to Cope When Your Beloved Home is Invaded by a Gang of Tool-Wielding, Tattooed, Organized-Challenged Contractors and Subs at www.stresscomedy.com.
Future blogs will outline the other steps in my SAM program. And remember, you may discover – through your stress watching - that your anger and rage is already chronic and potentially dangerous. Please reach out for professional help. Like the three incidents mentioned at the start of this blog, there are times when stress has passed the point of self help and an expert’s advice.
As always, may your habits be calming and health-enhancing.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
THE FIVE HARD-WORKING HORSES OF STRESS MANAGEMENT
The following is a model for understanding stress. It is the backbone of my stress management program, and I will return frequently to this model in future blogs.
The Stress Management System (SMS) is our primary instrument for coping with stress. It’s made up of thoughts, emotions, body reactions and actions, four of the five hardworking horses of the SMS. A simple example of how these four horses help us survive is illustrated in the fight/flight reaction to a threatening situation. You’re walking down a dark alley and a large figure confronts you. There’s no time for logical thinking. No…your brain and body go to automatic mode: an instantaneous fear response (emotions), size up the danger (reflexive thoughts), physically reactions (adrenalin rush), and take action (fight and/or flight). Logic sets in afterwards: “I’ll call the cops”.
The fifth, and frequently ignored horse, is a nurturing relationship. Yes…most of us have to whine, cry, blab, complain and spew some venom to somebody who cares.
Fortunately, our stressors don’t involve dark alleys but rather the hassles of everyday life. The five horses of stress management conduct their work in these situations as well, except in a more complex manner. Each horse has the ability to fail or triumph under stress. And, the sum of these failures and triumphs determines how well we cope with any given life stressor. You have, no doubt, experienced the following:
…Thoughts can be rational or irrational. You can worry excessively about small life events and be perfectly logical about the big ones.
…Emotions overwhelm us or help achieve a sense of relief. Expressing the right dose of anger feels good, but rage gets you into serious trouble with others.
… Body reactions are short, helpful or they stick around too long and wear out the “furniture”. An acute rise in blood pressure gets you fired up in an athletic event but chronic hypertension is a dangerous medical condition.
…Actions can be constructive or destructive. Hard work “brings home the bacon” but workaholism erodes family bonds and may be a risk factor for heart disease.
Finally, and very importantly,
…Relationships nurture or compound stress. A healthy marriage is a formula for a healthy mind and body, but marital conflict exacerbates the hassles of everyday living.
In sum, your thoughts, emotions, physical reactions, actions and relationships count. I will address each of your “stress management horses” in future blogs with an emphasis on riding each horse on a path to healthy coping.
Until then, may your habits be calming and health-inducing.
The Stress Management System (SMS) is our primary instrument for coping with stress. It’s made up of thoughts, emotions, body reactions and actions, four of the five hardworking horses of the SMS. A simple example of how these four horses help us survive is illustrated in the fight/flight reaction to a threatening situation. You’re walking down a dark alley and a large figure confronts you. There’s no time for logical thinking. No…your brain and body go to automatic mode: an instantaneous fear response (emotions), size up the danger (reflexive thoughts), physically reactions (adrenalin rush), and take action (fight and/or flight). Logic sets in afterwards: “I’ll call the cops”.
The fifth, and frequently ignored horse, is a nurturing relationship. Yes…most of us have to whine, cry, blab, complain and spew some venom to somebody who cares.
Fortunately, our stressors don’t involve dark alleys but rather the hassles of everyday life. The five horses of stress management conduct their work in these situations as well, except in a more complex manner. Each horse has the ability to fail or triumph under stress. And, the sum of these failures and triumphs determines how well we cope with any given life stressor. You have, no doubt, experienced the following:
…Thoughts can be rational or irrational. You can worry excessively about small life events and be perfectly logical about the big ones.
…Emotions overwhelm us or help achieve a sense of relief. Expressing the right dose of anger feels good, but rage gets you into serious trouble with others.
… Body reactions are short, helpful or they stick around too long and wear out the “furniture”. An acute rise in blood pressure gets you fired up in an athletic event but chronic hypertension is a dangerous medical condition.
…Actions can be constructive or destructive. Hard work “brings home the bacon” but workaholism erodes family bonds and may be a risk factor for heart disease.
Finally, and very importantly,
…Relationships nurture or compound stress. A healthy marriage is a formula for a healthy mind and body, but marital conflict exacerbates the hassles of everyday living.
In sum, your thoughts, emotions, physical reactions, actions and relationships count. I will address each of your “stress management horses” in future blogs with an emphasis on riding each horse on a path to healthy coping.
Until then, may your habits be calming and health-inducing.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
THE TWO FACES OF STRESS: “TAKE ME SERIOUSLY” AND “RELAX, I CAN HANDLE THIS”
Stress has two distinct faces: One says “Take me seriously. I’m chronic and long-term. I need professional advice”. The other states “Relax, I can handle this. Learn from me. I’m here today, gone tomorrow.”
When I teach stress management, I often look to the face for clues to the depth of brain and body problems. A seriously stressed individual – even after relaxation training – will hold tension in the corrugator muscles (that crease between the eyebrows), the eyes will appear tense and distant, and the jaw muscles will be clamped shut, as if to say “life is a grind”. What I observe further down the body correlates with the overly braced face: rapid breathing, clenched fists and fidgety legs.
On the other hand, many people respond nicely to a relaxation technique. After one session of training, they drop from stressed (5 to 10 on my stress scale) to the relaxed end of the continuum (0 to 4). They report an immediate tension-reducing effect and feelings of well-being. Their brain/body system is still flexible and amenable to change. And the face tells an important part of the story: no crease in the corrugators, relaxed eyes and jaw, as well as positive changes in breathing and overall muscle tension.
This distinction between serious and short-term stress is critical because it predicts who will respond to advice and self help, and who should out a professional.
SHORT-TERM STRESS. Acute, short-term stress is the brain and body’s way of meeting a challenge. You start a new job and are stressed-out for a while, feeling anxious, worrying, even losing some sleep. You may grumble a bit about your new boss and poke fun at yourself for not trusting your talents. After learning to cope effectively to this new life event, your symptoms of stress subside. A perfectly normal reaction to life’s threats and challenges. Stress lite, if you will.
SERIOUS STRESS. Chronic, long-term stress is a different animal altogether. It’s the tiger that continues to claw at it’s prey long after the battle is won. Or the turtle that continues to hide in its shell when the coast is clear. For example, marital conflict that persistently triggers pervasive anxiety, depression, sleepless nights and distancing from loved ones is serious. A case of stress that begs for professional attention.
The primary mission of this blog will be to focus on the acute, short-term variety of stress that is amenable to advice. I will teach you to become a stress-watcher. One who monitors his/her brain and body’s reactions to everyday hassles – your worries, fears and unhealthy habits. You will learn to become a stellar stress manager as well. And just when you think that I’m taking my “self” and stress too seriously, I might insert a humorous diversion. Humor is good stress medicine, and I will take advantage of the brain chemicals that flow when we poke fun at ourselves, forget about taking life too seriously and experience a good belly laugh.
I will write about:
…How stress triggers crooked and irrational thinking;
…How powerful feelings take our logical brains hostage;
…Why the jaw clamps down in the middle of the night and heart rate soars when we least expect it;
…Why stress and unhealthy habits make perfectly dysfunctional unions;
…How our love relationships seem to be the biggest stress triggers of all; And, of course,
…How to manage the stress beast when it rears its ugly head in your life.
The second mission of this blog is to remind you to stop and check yourself out. To encourage you to be ruthlessly honest with your “self”: Are you perennially anxious? Is it tough for you to shake a negative mood? Has marital conflict gone beyond the realm of self help? Has your alcohol and drug use – even over the counter and prescriptions medications – become excessive?
Is it time to seek professional help?
You would never think of fiddling with a faulty gall bladder. That’s a job for your GI doc and /or a surgeon. Don’t contemplate self help or media advice - even from a professional – for serious stress symptoms. That’s as dangerous as trying to shoot an alligator in your back yard with a BB gun.
Via this blog, I will try to direct you to the right counselor, Psychologist and/or Physician.
Remember…Don’t take your “self” too seriously. On the other hand, serious symptoms are never amenable to self help or media advice. They demand professional help. Learn to notice the difference.
Goodbye for now. And may your habits be calming and health-enhancing.
Dr .John j. Parrino
When I teach stress management, I often look to the face for clues to the depth of brain and body problems. A seriously stressed individual – even after relaxation training – will hold tension in the corrugator muscles (that crease between the eyebrows), the eyes will appear tense and distant, and the jaw muscles will be clamped shut, as if to say “life is a grind”. What I observe further down the body correlates with the overly braced face: rapid breathing, clenched fists and fidgety legs.
On the other hand, many people respond nicely to a relaxation technique. After one session of training, they drop from stressed (5 to 10 on my stress scale) to the relaxed end of the continuum (0 to 4). They report an immediate tension-reducing effect and feelings of well-being. Their brain/body system is still flexible and amenable to change. And the face tells an important part of the story: no crease in the corrugators, relaxed eyes and jaw, as well as positive changes in breathing and overall muscle tension.
This distinction between serious and short-term stress is critical because it predicts who will respond to advice and self help, and who should out a professional.
SHORT-TERM STRESS. Acute, short-term stress is the brain and body’s way of meeting a challenge. You start a new job and are stressed-out for a while, feeling anxious, worrying, even losing some sleep. You may grumble a bit about your new boss and poke fun at yourself for not trusting your talents. After learning to cope effectively to this new life event, your symptoms of stress subside. A perfectly normal reaction to life’s threats and challenges. Stress lite, if you will.
SERIOUS STRESS. Chronic, long-term stress is a different animal altogether. It’s the tiger that continues to claw at it’s prey long after the battle is won. Or the turtle that continues to hide in its shell when the coast is clear. For example, marital conflict that persistently triggers pervasive anxiety, depression, sleepless nights and distancing from loved ones is serious. A case of stress that begs for professional attention.
The primary mission of this blog will be to focus on the acute, short-term variety of stress that is amenable to advice. I will teach you to become a stress-watcher. One who monitors his/her brain and body’s reactions to everyday hassles – your worries, fears and unhealthy habits. You will learn to become a stellar stress manager as well. And just when you think that I’m taking my “self” and stress too seriously, I might insert a humorous diversion. Humor is good stress medicine, and I will take advantage of the brain chemicals that flow when we poke fun at ourselves, forget about taking life too seriously and experience a good belly laugh.
I will write about:
…How stress triggers crooked and irrational thinking;
…How powerful feelings take our logical brains hostage;
…Why the jaw clamps down in the middle of the night and heart rate soars when we least expect it;
…Why stress and unhealthy habits make perfectly dysfunctional unions;
…How our love relationships seem to be the biggest stress triggers of all; And, of course,
…How to manage the stress beast when it rears its ugly head in your life.
The second mission of this blog is to remind you to stop and check yourself out. To encourage you to be ruthlessly honest with your “self”: Are you perennially anxious? Is it tough for you to shake a negative mood? Has marital conflict gone beyond the realm of self help? Has your alcohol and drug use – even over the counter and prescriptions medications – become excessive?
Is it time to seek professional help?
You would never think of fiddling with a faulty gall bladder. That’s a job for your GI doc and /or a surgeon. Don’t contemplate self help or media advice - even from a professional – for serious stress symptoms. That’s as dangerous as trying to shoot an alligator in your back yard with a BB gun.
Via this blog, I will try to direct you to the right counselor, Psychologist and/or Physician.
Remember…Don’t take your “self” too seriously. On the other hand, serious symptoms are never amenable to self help or media advice. They demand professional help. Learn to notice the difference.
Goodbye for now. And may your habits be calming and health-enhancing.
Dr .John j. Parrino
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