THE TWO FACES OF STRESS: “TAKE ME SERIOUSLY” AND “RELAX, I CAN HANDLE THIS”

Stress has two distinct faces: One says “Take me seriously. I’m chronic and long-term. I need professional advice”. The other states “Relax, I can handle this. Learn from me. I’m here today, gone tomorrow.”

When I teach stress management, I often look to the face for clues to the depth of brain and body problems. A seriously stressed individual – even after relaxation training – will hold tension in the corrugator muscles (that crease between the eyebrows), the eyes will appear tense and distant, and the jaw muscles will be clamped shut, as if to say “life is a grind”. What I observe further down the body correlates with the overly braced face: rapid breathing, clenched fists and fidgety legs.

On the other hand, many people respond nicely to a relaxation technique. After one session of training, they drop from stressed (5 to 10 on my stress scale) to the relaxed end of the continuum (0 to 4). They report an immediate tension-reducing effect and feelings of well-being. Their brain/body system is still flexible and amenable to change. And the face tells an important part of the story: no crease in the corrugators, relaxed eyes and jaw, as well as positive changes in breathing and overall muscle tension.

This distinction between serious and short-term stress is critical because it predicts who will respond to advice and self help, and who should out a professional.

SHORT-TERM STRESS. Acute, short-term stress is the brain and body’s way of meeting a challenge. You start a new job and are stressed-out for a while, feeling anxious, worrying, even losing some sleep. You may grumble a bit about your new boss and poke fun at yourself for not trusting your talents. After learning to cope effectively to this new life event, your symptoms of stress subside. A perfectly normal reaction to life’s threats and challenges. Stress lite, if you will.

SERIOUS STRESS. Chronic, long-term stress is a different animal altogether. It’s the tiger that continues to claw at it’s prey long after the battle is won. Or the turtle that continues to hide in its shell when the coast is clear. For example, marital conflict that persistently triggers pervasive anxiety, depression, sleepless nights and distancing from loved ones is serious. A case of stress that begs for professional attention.

The primary mission of this blog will be to focus on the acute, short-term variety of stress that is amenable to advice. I will teach you to become a stress-watcher. One who monitors his/her brain and body’s reactions to everyday hassles – your worries, fears and unhealthy habits. You will learn to become a stellar stress manager as well. And just when you think that I’m taking my “self” and stress too seriously, I might insert a humorous diversion. Humor is good stress medicine, and I will take advantage of the brain chemicals that flow when we poke fun at ourselves, forget about taking life too seriously and experience a good belly laugh.



I will write about:

…How stress triggers crooked and irrational thinking;

…How powerful feelings take our logical brains hostage;

…Why the jaw clamps down in the middle of the night and heart rate soars when we least expect it;

…Why stress and unhealthy habits make perfectly dysfunctional unions;

…How our love relationships seem to be the biggest stress triggers of all; And, of course,

…How to manage the stress beast when it rears its ugly head in your life.



The second mission of this blog is to remind you to stop and check yourself out. To encourage you to be ruthlessly honest with your “self”: Are you perennially anxious? Is it tough for you to shake a negative mood? Has marital conflict gone beyond the realm of self help? Has your alcohol and drug use – even over the counter and prescriptions medications – become excessive?

Is it time to seek professional help?

You would never think of fiddling with a faulty gall bladder. That’s a job for your GI doc and /or a surgeon. Don’t contemplate self help or media advice - even from a professional – for serious stress symptoms. That’s as dangerous as trying to shoot an alligator in your back yard with a BB gun.

Via this blog, I will try to direct you to the right counselor, Psychologist and/or Physician.

Remember…Don’t take your “self” too seriously. On the other hand, serious symptoms are never amenable to self help or media advice. They demand professional help. Learn to notice the difference.

Goodbye for now. And may your habits be calming and health-enhancing.

Dr .John j. Parrino